The Ghost has a confession to make. There have been weeks, my fellow Hawks, when sitting down to revisit recent on-field events through the medium of our fortnightly column has been about as appealing as getting kissed by a sweaty bloke who’s not nearly as good looking as Will Langford.

If you’ll excuse the lapse into third-person footy-speak, the Ghost has had his work cut out keeping his highly-emotional mate Angus away from the sharps drawer in the wake of some of the more miserable weekends of our recent barracking past. In case you haven’t noticed, it’s been an at-times trying year.

Which makes the past couple of weekends all the more gratifying. Actually, given what we’ve had to compare them with, gratifying doesn’t really cover it. Orgasmic would be closer to the mark.

It’s August, and we’ve only lost once since early June – and that was by a measly three points to one of the alleged flag favourites. (For the record, Angus would like it to be noted that he is not one of those alleging that Geelong can win the flag. Not this year. Or next year. Or any year).

Read: Round 23 fixture announced

Last Friday night we beat Sydney by a goal. They hadn’t lost a game since the last time we beat them by a goal. That means we’ve beaten them twice this season. I know that’s not exactly news to any self-respecting Hawk lover out there, I just like the sound of it so much it’s worth saying again. We’ve beaten Sydney. By a goal. Twice this year.

And that’s not all we’ve got to be excited about. With apologies to anyone I’ve overlooked, here’s a snapshot of all that glitters in brown and gold:

1.Gunners is going to be an All-Australian defender. Maybe this year. If not, then for the next 10.

2. ‘Let Me Show Ya’ Howe will be an All-Australian midfielder. Maybe not this year. But see above Gunners’ time frame, and add a couple of years.

3. Benny McEvoy (Angus’s aversion to all things BT prevents me from calling him Big Boy) will be an All-Australian ruckman. This year. Get on it.

4. Hodgey will be the next coach of the umpires. As demonstrated in his calm communication to the men in lime of what had transpired when they paid a 50m penalty to the artist formerly known as Hawk Buddy in the third quarter last Friday night, he’s the obvious choice to set the game’s on-field adjudicators on a path to universal appreciation and respect. It’ll be the smoothest transition since Sewelly slipped into the ABC radio box. And we’ll have a man on the inside. Everyone’s a winner. And once he’s sorted the umps out he can move on to the tribunal, and give its members a tutorial in what really constitutes a punch.

Read: Tribunal uphold Hodge sanction

5. Tom Mitchell will be a better player for only getting the ball 26 times on Friday night. Getting 30 or more touches 14 games in a row was bound to take a toll eventually. Seeing his average for the season drop under 36 will make him hungry. Don’t say we didn’t warn you, Tigers.

6. Don’t pay any attention to that 10-year contract – Buddy’s coming home. How else do you explain the sight of him and Clarko after the game, all smiles and hugs and nudge and wink and seeya back in brown and gold some day soon, big fella? Forget the big bucks – knowing the only time for the rest of his career that he’ll get belted by Kaiden Brand will be in match practice at a closed training session should be enough to seal the deal.

7. Come to mention it, if they ever come up with an All-Australian team of blokes named Kaiden, we know who’ll be first picked.

8. How good is Ryan Burton? Yeah, we’ve probably said that before. But it’s like eating ice cream – it makes you feel so good it’s worth doing again.

9. How good is Roughy? See previous call re Burto, and put some of that crackly Ice Magic stuff on top for his 250th. Go Rough!

10. Moving beyond Angus’s issues with geography (Gus: “Where have they been hiding Conor Glass?” Me: “Ireland.” Gus: “Oh, yeah.”), his prediction that our redheaded rookie sensation will soon be a walk-up start in our “Greatest Rangas Of All-time” team is full of merit. Add in Roughead, Sicily and O’Brien, and Dermie’s going to have his work cut out finding a spot in the forward line.

Read: Irish rookie one of three young Hawks to re-sign

So there you have it, the brown and gold good news bulletin direct from Ghost Manor. Now if we can just stop Langers from giving Dusty Martin a pash to congratulate him on Paddy Dangerfield’s Brownlow demise, I reckon we might just give those Tigers a fright.

Go Hawks!