Paul Puopolo is used to having a bit on his plate in September – nearing the business end of his sixth season as an AFL footballer, he’s preparing full-chested for a sixth finals series and hopefully a fourth premiership. This year, he knows he’s in for a busy October too.

“We’ve got a few coming to the wedding,” Puopolo says of the Adelaide ceremony that will formalise he and Carmel’s eight-year relationship. He does a quick mental check of a guest list so big it drastically limited their venue options. “Just over 350.”

The Scambiatterras (Carmel’s family) hail from Calabria and settled in South Australia and Mildura. Puopolo’s father Francesco (who gets Frank rather than “Poppy”) emigrated from Foggia when he was 10, eventually meeting and marrying Gina Fiorillo, who was born in Naples. Bringing the two clans together was always going to take some organisational heroics, and Puopolo is happy Carmel is driving what the couple envisage will be a low-key take on a traditional Italian wedding – numbers notwithstanding.

“It’s going to have a bit of tradition, but we’re trying to do it a bit different,” he says, recalling the many weddings he went to growing up, full of parading and dancing and rituals that would take naturally shy people a long way out of their comfort zone. “I like stuff a bit more casual. Italian weddings can be pretty full-on, and I’m a pretty laid back guy.”

They met when he was playing for Norwood, and Carmel’s support for his late arrival on football’s big stage will always move him. For more than a year she stayed in Adelaide, training to work in childcare while he earned his wings as a Hawk. “It made my transition a lot easier, having that from my partner. She was driving me to succeed.”

He describes his bride-to-be as a kind person who shares his shyness around strangers. “We’re both pretty quiet when we meet people, but once we get comfortable with them we open up.” His American staffy, Hugo, lives like his master plays footy – full of energy and bounce – and Puopolo shakes his head at his pooch’s popularity on neighbourhood walks. “He loves that attention. I’m the opposite.”

Even with their tweaks to wedding format he knows he can’t escape the groom’s speaking duties, and figures that an audience underpinned by family (LOTS of family) should make the task less daunting. “I’m not much of a speaker, but I’ve got a few people to thank. I’m better with just a couple of dot points instead of writing it all down. I’d rather speak from my heart than read it off a sheet.”

A holiday with his parents and sister Danielle when he was 13 – first in Italy, then visiting relatives in Germany, Switzerland and America – embedded a deep pride in his family and its roots. In the village of Anzano Frank showed him the house he’d grown up in, the farm the Puopolos worked long before becoming fruiterers in a faraway land. They visited the home of his mother whose parents would end up welding with the railways and catering at a school in Adelaide. He remains in awe of the transition they made.

“Their lifestyle was very basic, very old-fashioned. It makes you very proud of what they accomplished, changing country to start a better life. It’s a massive step ... not even speaking the language when they came over. I’m very proud of where I come from.”

He’s disappointed in himself for not being more fluent in his native tongue. “I’m broken, very broken to be honest.” His parents and grandparents became so adept in English he didn’t need to.

Missing two games with a hip complaint recently afforded some time to organise suits and tick a few more wedding boxes, but his focus has returned to a more immediate task that’s all the more enticing for its familiarity. “The opportunity we’ve got now … it’s not going to happen for a while that you can be going for your fourth premiership in a row, I don’t think many teams will be worrying about that. For us, it’s a massive year.”

He hadn’t played a single game at 23; still not 29, he boasts 129 and 16 finals. Such numbers almost demand veteran status. Puopolo laughs that the focus on older teammates has let him fly under the radar. He was heartened recently when fitness coach Andrew Russell told him he could play until 35. “It’s a positive thing hearing that.”

With a focus that will serve him well on and off field in the next two months, he adds: “I’m happy to just keep going, I don’t look too far ahead.”